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Dr. Phil[ip], My Contempt
by Righteous_Vigilante
written on July 17, 2006 5:26 PM
 (9 stars)
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(Note: If you're a diehard fan of Dr. Phil, I recommend you stay away. I did not intend for my works to be mindlessly bashed, nor do I desire to be faced with some defending arguments on Dr. Phil's behalf. His show irks me, as does the audience, so I might as well express my resentment artistically.)

They’re clapping away, without a hint
Common sense is no miracle
Beverly Hillbillies, fading straw hats
Brimming with lilacs, Drew’s patch of glee
And do I smell some faux Chanel
Beneath the flaps of a shriveled chin
Where I’d like the chance to play peek-a-boo
Popping that pizza sauce acne
A neck’s in the way, a pile of brown lines
Profound, like stretch marks on a lass’s rear
Pining for a candle, votive... ablaze
Spicy when thrown straight ahead...

This stress ball lasts, I know it should
As sweaty geysers blow horizontally
Elephants quake, their snorts ugly fiends
A shower of hands protecting him
A broad Humpty-Dumpty, Barney-like smile
Charisma in a jug, tuned by a swine
He and this cult, the baldness endearing
While I sit suppressed in a plastic bag



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Read what other people have to say about this poem!

BreeMcKay: hahaha. i loved it. never watched Dr. Phil but you are hilarious in describing it. i enjoyed the last line. so funny. great poem. :)
on August 19, 2006 1:42 PM
SilverScent: Haha a very good rant. I've never watched Dr Phil because it's not something that I'm remotely interested in, but I've seen it advertised. You wrote this well, now I might just watch it to laugh at how pathetic it is. Thanks for sharing.
on July 19, 2006 11:37 AM
QhBaRrElChIc: lol Awesome! I too feel the same why you do about Dr. Phil. This poem here I think proves and shows how you can write about anything and everything with pure grace, intelligence, and style. Great job!!!
on July 18, 2006 11:26 PM
Balla3babe: LOL omg this is sooo funny! I HATE DR.PHIL lol
on July 18, 2006 1:29 AM
h0tkisses4you: haha i love it i wrote a poem about him too awhile back he corrupts the minds of parents!
on July 17, 2006 10:15 PM
fauxafflictionqueen: HAHAHA!!! i ****ing love this!! its made me laugh and its right on the money!
on July 17, 2006 5:58 PM


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